New York Mets: 20 What If's The Mets Need to Happen in 2012

The 20 What If's The Mets Need to Occur in 2012 for a Playoff Berth

By: Marvin Gutierrez

The chances of winning the Lottery in New York are about 45,000,000 to 1. The chances of getting struck by lighting are about a 1,000,000 to 1. The chances the Mets have of winning the N.L East or making the playoffs as a wildcard fall somewhere in between those two. Not really, but Vegas does have the Mets as quite a long shot at 100 to 1. I thought it would be higher but I guess the Mets aren't worse than the Houston Astros.

So Mets fans keep your heads up, these are 20 things that need to happen for your favorite team to play baseball in October:

1. The Wilpons need to go back in time and fire Bernie Madoff.
2. Request Johan Santana see the same doctor Bartolo Colon went to.
3. Jason Bay's contract to stop reminding you of the horrible contracts the Mets dished out to Mo Vaughn and Roberto Alomar.
4. Change the team colors to black and yellow so Jason Bay thinks he's still in Pittsburgh.
5. Hope that Ruben Tejada will put up Jose Reyes' worst stats.
6. Pray David Wright can get the ball out of the infield.
7. Wish that David Wright didn't lose his swing at that home run derby in Pittsburgh (that excuse worked for Bobby Abreu remember?
8. Hope that lowering the walls and bringing them in doesn't make R.A Dickey's ERA climb 5,895 meters.
9. Imagine R.A came back from Mt. Kilamonjaro with super powers.
10. Wish that Ike Davis takes the vacant title of "Best Jewish Player Alive" left vacant due to Ryan Braun's steroid suspension.
11. Hope Lucas Duda doesn't just have a cool name.
12. Believe Andres Torres can bring the SF Giants version of "torture" instead of the torture they're going through in Queens.
13. Have Ramon Ramirez grow a long beard. He'll be the Dominican Brian Wilson. 
14. Wish Jose Reyes' hamstrings pops while running down South Beach.
15. Pray Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee develop a rift over who's the real ACE of the Phillies' staff.
16. Have wishful thoughts that Bryce Harper holds out for a record 10 year, 300 million dollar deal.
17. Place Carlos Zambrano in a scenario where he pops a blood vessel arguing with teammates over what jersey they should wear.
18. Beg the Braves to return to Milwaukee.
19. Only wear the pinstripe uniforms. They work for the other New York team.
20. Hope, wish, pray, beseech, appeal, request a million times that the Wilpons sell the franchise.